


I'm Audrey Horne, and I get what I want

by pearly_pairings



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Danger, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Flirty, Sexy, Slow Burn, fluff first, twin peaks season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2020-08-11 20:23:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20159560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearly_pairings/pseuds/pearly_pairings
Summary: Audrey's in danger, but that won't distract her from what she really wants. Agent Cooper is ready to deal with any perp, but is he prepared for Audrey's persuasion?* Skip to Ch 6 for beginning of smut without backstory





	1. Take me Agent Cooper...to the Sheriff!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the tale begins in the hotel at the little breakfast area where Cooper enjoys morning coffee. Audrey has concerns and Dale is the only person she feels she can turn to. Though her crush can be a little distracting to the danger at hand.  


I found my feet moving so fast I wondered how I hadn't tripped over them yet. When I reached my destination, I froze at the entryway to catch my breath. My eyes darted around the sitting area scanning for him in his usual morning spot. His jet black hair above the gray newspaper caught my attention. I rushed to his table, but slowed my steps as I closed in on his spot.

“Agent Cooper?” I inquired, twirling my hair close to my ears.

“Yes, Miss Horne?" His eyes peered over the newspaper with eyebrows raised, noticing the little piece of panic behind my words. "Something's bothering you.”

“Well, it's nothing… or not nothing, but maybe something.” I bit my plump bottom lip and looked away for a moment. “I don’t know, I don’t want to waste your time. You’re a _very_ busy special agent.

Special agent Dale Cooper shifted forward in his seat and folded the paper to a neat square in front of his placemat and mug. I always loved the endearing way he compliments his coffee each morning. The cup appeared empty now with dark residual stains at the bottom.

“Miss Horne, you could never waste my time with what you have to say. What’s this about? Something with your father?”

I shrugged a bit and stepped closer to the table.

“Call me Audrey, please. May I sit with you? I don’t want to impose, but I’d feel better sitting while I explain.”

“I see. Please, take a seat Audrey.” His eyes flicked between my face and to the chair across from him. He gestured with an open palm, and I nodded appreciatively.

Sliding out the chair, I took a deep breath before expelling the cloud on my mind.

“So, the other day behind my desk at work, I overheard a tall man in a trench coat talking on the phone. At first, I thought he was arguing with his wife with a lot of angry gestures and quiet yelling. Then, he kept turning around to glance my way which I thought was strange. I believed he may have mistaken me for someone else. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m almost positive I heard his voice before when I was at One-Eyed Jack’s. I don’t remember too much from then, but the deep, raspy voice really rang a bell for me. Maybe, he used to work for my father… or for Blackie. Or… somebody else big and bad. I was scared to say anything earlier. I couldn’t ask my father. But, Agent Cooper, I don’t feel safe. What if he’s watching me or following me or waiting to take me again for another ransom?”

I tried to catch my breath and gripped onto the side of the wooden tabletop. I was woozy with worry and Dale Cooper was my only hope.

“Miss Audrey, after such a traumatic experience there’s an understandable reason for caution and suspicion. If you recognized this man’s voice, we can make a report to the sheriff’s office and organize protection for you while the office investigates. This is certainly not nothing. Have you seen the man in the hotel since?”

“Not that I've noticed, I’m afraid,” I shook my head no quickly. Soft curls of my hair bounced across my cheeks from the movement. "I've tried to change my daily routine and avoid the hotel as often as I can. I feel so stupid, I have no idea where he could be right now. I'm sorry, I must seem like a silly, worried girl to you.”

I hung my head so low that locks of hair fell to cover my face.

“No Audrey, thank you for confiding in me. This is a serious concern worthy of law enforcement,” His eyes met mine as he reached for my hand covering it with his large palm. “And it’s going to be okay.”

“Thank you, agent." I paused a moment before continuing. "Could I ride with you to see the Sheriff? I really don’t want to drive alone.”

He stood up abruptly with the chair loudly scraping the floor. With a quick thumbs up, I knew he was willing to make me feel safe again. I flashed a reassuring smile at him, grabbed my purse, and strolled out of the noisy room with Agent Cooper following close behind me.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I moved into the passenger seat of his Dodge Diplomat, my favorite plaid skirt hiked up to the middle of my thighs. The dark burgundy color contrasted with the paleness of my slender legs. I leaned in to the window to admire the rush of evergreen trees and listened to the engine humming to the lonely highway. Agent Cooper looked handsome as ever with his classic suit opposite to the passing wilderness. He chattered away to his tape recorder addressing a woman named Diane.

“I am now riding with Miss Audrey Horne to the police station. The trees are numerous and presenting with a crisp, emerald green. Remind me to inquire about the trees, Diane. Miss Horne, here, is concerned for her own safety after recognizing a voice she believed to originate from her involuntary stay at the villainous One Eyed Jack’s. We are meeting with the respectable Sheriff Truman to determine the appropriate course of action. I will update with the results of this meeting as necessary.” He paused for a few seconds. “Diane, when you have a chance, please look into the real estate for me as I previously asked.”

With a clear click, he placed the recorder in a cup holder between us.

"You like it here, Agent Cooper?"

"It's never a bad thing to invest in real estate Ms. Horne. You should know this from your father and his business in Twin Peaks."

"Audrey, agent please. And that's really it? You just want to make money off of Twin Peaks and leave us all used and taken advantage of." I poked fun at his weak attempt to cover his interest.

"I just can't get over these wonderful trees, Audrey, truthfully. They are quite stunning and I'd enjoy a vacation home to just sit back and enjoy the ambience of the woods." Agent Cooper wrung his hands on the steering wheel as his voice broke with excitement.

"Oh Agent Cooper, " I remarked quietly so he would lean a little closer. " I can tell you all about the trees if you want some day."

"After this investigation, I would like that very much."

The winding road rocked my shoulders gently into the window. We passed a tree cracked in half as if lighting struck right down the middle of the trunk and burnt the fractured pieces. A deer crossing sign leaned toward the tree line with a muddy outline.The station had to be a few minutes away, and I still had so many questions floating in my mind.

“But who’s Diane? The woman you talk to on your tapes. Is she your girlfriend from back home?” My questions were paired with a small , doe-eyed pout in his direction.

“Diane is my secretary from headquarters. She maintains my notes on the cases I investigate and researches important information for me. I consider her a close friend.” His eyes caught mine and quickly reverted back to the road. 

“Secretary, huh.” A smirk echoed through the tone of my voice. “Must be nice to have someone help you on your cases and do the tedious work while you use your cunning and bravery to save the day.”

“Diane is integral to my success. As to my ‘saving the day’, she would certainly laugh and say it’s all dumb luck. And I’d be a fool not to agree.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “She complains about my so-called acts of bravery and how awful it is to work for such a reckless agent. Says I age her 5 years every time I’m hospitalized.”

“So you have a sweet, old secretary who worries about you. That’s very…sweet. I don’t see a ring on your finger for a wife,” I tip my head up to gesture his left hand on the steering wheel. “But what about a girlfriend who worries about you? She must sit up all night waiting for your calls.”

His face remained stoic looking straight ahead. We pulled into the police station and parked in the front spot in brief silence. I saw Officer Brennan pacing in front of the station secretary's window biting his nails. I wondered what he was so worked up about. Agent Cooper sighed and turned off the car.

“No, Audrey, I have no girlfriend. An FBI agent must be mindful of the danger he or she brings to those they care about. I, especially, am weary of it.” His last sentence spills out like a tired, distant memory at the tip of his tongue.

As luck would have it, I didn’t have any opportunity to probe further. Agent Cooper tossed the car key into his jacket pocket and studied my face across the center console.

“Are you ready Miss Audrey?”

“I think so.” I nervously fiddled with the bottom of my skirt tugging it down and peered out the passenger window for a moment. I noticed a buck in the distance of the woods gradually disappearing into the camouflage of the bark with each step. I glanced back to Dale. His gentle eyes beckoning me to look a little longer than necessary. I blinked quickly and looked back down to my fingers pulling at the plaid hem. “Let’s go before I get cold feet.”


	2. Calling Audrey Horne to the Sheriff's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> next in the saga of Audrey's dangerous drama, we see Agent Cooper advocate on Audrey's behalf. We also see some familiar faces and dynamics in the police station with Sheriff Truman, Officer Brennan, and everyone's favorite secretary. Stay tuned for subtle hints at what's to come.

My short black heels clacked in quick succession along the brick steps as I hurried to the doors. I inhaled the forest’s perfume of pine. The trees in Twin Peaks reminded me of a peace I haven’t known for a long time. Next to me, Agent Cooper was chattering absentmindedly about requiring more of that damn fine coffee. I fell behind my protector as he strode through the polished double doors. My steps slowed slightly. I have to say I didn’t mind admiring the rear view of his tailored suit pants.

Officer Brennan was leaning against the wall and conspicuously glaring at the secretary as if daring her to meet his gaze. The secretary continued to rifle through a mountain of paperwork behind the window of her desk. Her eyes were squinted tightly as she scanned the documents. With a loud, heavy sigh, she rolled her eyes and turned to face away from the window.

“Lucy , I…”

I couldn’t quite make out what else Officer Brennan bumbled since I rushed to follow Agent Cooper into the sheriff’s office. I guess that mystery will have to be solved another time. I laughed to myself, but swiftly bit my lip to muffle my reaction. Presently, my life was at stake, and I needed to focus on how to remain safe. Preferably with a specific man with a certain predilection for pastries and caffeinated beverages. His familiar voice broke my thoughts.

“Sheriff Truman,” Agent Cooper reached across the desk to shake the sheriff’s hand. “We have important news to report and I need your take on what Miss Audrey Horne has experienced. But first, page Lucy for another round of the blackest coffee you’ve got.”

Their handshake was brief and the sheriff smiled warmly. Agent Cooper pulled out the worn leather chair for me on the left. He reassured my uneasy appearance with kind eyes and a nod. Sheriff Harry Truman stood up from his weathered, forest green chair and patted Agent Cooper roughly on the back.

“Alright Dale, keep your cool,” he chuckled. He pressed down on the buzzer of the intercom. “Lucy, three cups of coffee in my office please.”

I shrunk down in the chair and looked around the room. The office was rustic and woodsy, not too different from the tone of our town. All the furnishings were stained wood and vintage looking. A few faintly green filing cabinets seemed out of place among the collage of browns in the room. Even the walls were paneled with wood planks. A lonely buck watched me from its permanent resting place on the wall. I shivered. I never liked the idea of stuffing dead things. Agent Cooper tapped on my arm and gestured for me to lean forward. He placed his suit jacket over my shoulders and his fingers lingered there for a moment. I swung my gaze over my shoulder with a curious smile. He didn’t linger long, because the sound of clanking mugs cast his attention to the door.

Lucy balanced three mugs between twisted fingers and streams of steaming coffee. Agent Cooper offered his assistance and grabbed two of the dripping mugs. Lucy bounded over to Sheriff Truman with renewed confidence. Her curly blonde locks bounced with each step, adding to her charm. Agent Cooper glided back from the doorway to the leather chairs where I waited. He sat down next to me and carefully handed me the hot coffee mug.

“Thank you, Lucy. Thank you, Special Agent.” My eyes flitted between the two. I took a slow, seductive sip. Lucy slammed the sheriff’s cup onto his desk with a dangerous slosh almost overcoming the edge.

“Well, at least someone appreciates what I do around here.” Her normally mousy voice deepened as she emphasized the word “someone” and raised an eyebrow at Sheriff Truman.

“Lucy, now that’s not fair. You must know how grateful I am…we all are, you know, very grateful for the work you do around here. But we’ll thank you for it more often from now on.”  
“Hmmmm… okay. But you tell Officer Brennan he can keep his thanks to himself!”

With that remark, she whipped around and stormed out of the office. Sheriff Truman shifted uncomfortably in his chair and picked up a pen from the desk. He shuffled a few papers around until he found a blank one. I shrugged the warm jacket closer to my neck and inhaled the scent of Special Agent Dale Cooper. It was indescribable. I glanced over and saw Agent Cooper smiling into his coffee cup. Sheriff Truman decided it was time to break the silence.

“Now then, Cooper. What’s this meeting about?”

“As you know Harry, we infiltrated One Eyed Jack’s and broke up their nefarious business. Audrey Horne was held captive for ransom and rescued from the criminal element related to the brothel and her father.” He paused, abruptly changing his tone. “Hot damn, this is a good cup of coffee. So rich...” He cleared his throat “ Now with danger so close to this young woman, Audrey hesitantly approached me today during my morning cup to relay some observations she’s made at the hotel. Observations that I consider to be of extreme importance and relevant to her safety and this convoluted case we’ve followed thus far.”

“Miss Horne, what did you tell Special Agent Cooper?"

I fluttered my eyelids to look down before fixing a lock of hair behind my ear. The white mug nestled in my lap displayed a cherry stain on the rim. I rubbed my thumb over the lipstick remnants and cleared my throat softly.

“Well, about two days ago I was working behind the hotel lobby desk since Daddy’s business has been really affected by the chaos of the murders and kidnappings. While I was filing some keys away, I noticed this shifty figure in a trench coat, I think he had shaggy, dark hair, arguing with someone on our payphone. I just assumed it was just an argument with his wife or something until he kept looking in my direction. His voice became more clear and excited. That’s when I recognized it. His voice, I swear I heard it at One Eyed Jack’s. It’s unusually deep. I don’t know if he saw the look of shock on my face, because within seconds of my realization, he hung up the phone and quickly rushed down the hall to the exit. I mean it really frightened me and I still can’t tell if I’m paranoid or in danger. But I had to report it today, because I can’t keep living life looking over my shoulder. That’s why I went to Agent Cooper.”

Sheriff Truman jotted notes as I finished recapping my experience. He tapped the point of his pen on the paper thoughtfully.

“Did you recognize or get a good look at his face, Audrey?”

“I don’t… I don’t know. It’s all fuzzy from before. He’s definitely white and maybe 40ish years old. Dark hair, dark eyes. REALLY dark eyes. They didn’t seem human. I can’t remember if I’d seen him or those eyes before.”

I leaned slightly in my seat and looked away from them. My left hand clutched my coffee in my lap while my right hand dangled on the arm of the chair. Agent Cooper lightly rested his hand on mine as he spoke.

“Audrey, it’s okay. Nobody can expect you to recall everything from that experience. You’re safe here.”

“That’s right, we don’t expect any answers necesssarily. I need to ask these questions in case it does help you remember. Was there anything distinctive about him from the hotel? Even his clothes or something he brought with him?”

Agent Cooper’s thumb stroked the top of my hand as I continued.

“His coat was a dark brown trench. I think his pants were black. Um, I don’t think…no there’s nothing else I can remember.”

“Okay…okay let me look through this file.”

I nodded my head in gentle, small movements, and my dark tresses bounced against my ears. A few minutes dragged by with the only sound of rustling papers. I chewed on my lip. The sheriff had a contemplative look as he leaned back in his chair and glanced over what I presumed was One Eyed Jack’s case file. Agent Cooper’s hand still comforted mine and I quietly squeezed his hand. His fingers tensed up at first, but relaxed and melted against mine. I tried to meet his eyes, but he looked stiffly straight ahead at Sheriff Truman. He gave my hand a quick squeeze back and moved it back to interlock his fingers across his lap.

“Truman, what are your thoughts on this development?” Agent Cooper probed.

“Well, Dale, I’m trying to review some of the suspect descriptions of individuals who may have been related to this criminal activity we busted up. There are a few in here that are possible connections to the individual Audrey noticed, but it’s too vague to narrow down at this point for a definitive identification.”

Agent Cooper rubbed his forefinger against the top of his lip while his thumb rested under his chin. His pose mimicked one of those famous sculptures that foreign tourists would visit and admire its raw masculinity and thoughtfulness. I tried to imagine what may be chiseled underneath. Anything to distract myself from the reality I now faced intermingled with fear and uncertainty.

“Sheriff, I think we need to take precautionary measures until we have a better understanding of this situation. If someone is tailing Miss Horner, that put’s her in imminent danger. I think she needs a detail of officers assigned to her as she navigates Twin Peaks and rests safely at home. Do you have the men for this?”

Sheriff Truman squinted while he pondered the question. I took a sip and set my mug with down on the floor beside me.

“How many officers, Dale? We’re a little short due to the open investigation and our normal patrolling regiment.” 

“At least two. One with her physically and another walking the perimeter or outside to investigate any suspicious figures.”

“I want Agent Cooper with me.” I stated perhaps a little too directly.

“Now, Aud—“

I cut off the sheriff. I leaned forward and both of my hands gripped the desk with a fiery intensity.

“No, listen. I trust Special Agent Cooper. He’s not from around here, has no history with the town or the people in it. I’m not saying your police are corrupt or double agents. But it would give me peace of mind that an unbiased, trained FBI field agent would be protecting me from immediate danger. I think that’s a rational reasoning. Even for a few days. I know he can’t be with me all the time, but when I’m at my most vulnerable, alone at night. He should be there. He’s staying at the hotel already and it’s not an inconvenience to walk down the hall to my room.”

Perched on this antique wooden mess, my joints relaxed as the last words fell out of my mouth. I knew I was right and they had to know I was right. I wouldn’t settle for anyone less qualified than Agent Cooper. I stood up straight and twirled to walk around the office. My steps were slow and deliberate; the walk became more of a saunter than a casual stroll. My back remained turned to them as they mulled over my impassioned speech. I picked up a stuffed bird on the side mantle and examined the strange dusty blue feathers of his face. I met his gaze and shuddered. Its eyes were a dead black and I placed him back where he came from as I sighed loudly.

“Sheriff Truman, Miss Horne…Audrey is correct. I’m the most qualified and least likely to surprise her with ulterior motives. I see no problem with the night shift as long as she’s comfortable having another officer during the day when I’m investigating other avenues.”

His voice was confident and earnest.

“Dale, it’s your call. I can talk to some of the available officers who would want to volunteer to be back up. Audrey, we’ll keep you safe and find out what’s going on in your family’s hotel.”

I turned around tugging at the bottom of my skirt. I coyly tipped my head and nodded. Agent Cooper gave me another thumbs up while Sheriff Truman briskly paced out of the room. I wondered what the next few days would be like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	3. Whipped Cream and Waffles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love Audrey eating waffles and whipped cream? She's getting more confident in her methods and Agent Cooper can't resist.

The afternoon golden rays tingled my skin through the sheer window of the Diplomat humming along the highway. The sheriff agreed that Cooper should drive me around today and stay with me for the night. Tomorrow, there’d be officers to relieve him and he could rest. So Agent Cooper’s jet black hair glistened under the sunlight as he drove me home. His face was smooth, but pensive looking over the steering wheel. I wondered what was churning inside that beautiful mind. Maybe he was worried about me or maybe he was just trying to remember the way back to the hotel.

“Agent Cooper, can I turn on the radio? I think music will soothe our nerves.” My eyelids fluttered.  
He nodded slightly.

My fingers gently twisted the knob to search for the frequency I liked. Static interchanged with clips of music until I found a sweet melody of horns and piano. Jazz music lit me up. My hand rose to touch my neck and tilted my head slowly. His jacket sleeve slid down my bony wrist, and I was reminded that I was still wearing his kind gesture in almost public.

“Perfect…” The words purred through my lips. “I just love the way the music makes my body feel so warm. It’s just so…visceral.”

“Impressive taste, Audrey. Jazz is one of America’s greatest inventions. An expression of raw emotion and sexual repression.”

I swayed side to side to the beat and shimmied closer to the handsome agent next to me. He hummed the tune of the horns softly. His eyes never broke from the road, but I felt his energy thaw from a stony gray to fiery amber. Subtle, but still noticeable in his own way. This was an opportunity. MY opportunity. I leaned suggestively on the center console and grazed his shirt sleeve in a slow, upward stroke to his shoulder. 

“Agent Cooper, I’ve told you plenty about what I love today. I mean, I’ve even told you things that scare me. But I hardly know what you’re like beyond the serious exterior of an FBI agent and your addiction to the nearest coffee pot. Could you tell me something interesting about yourself so I feel more at ease?”  
I let my forearm gracefully descend down to the console as if the touch was meant to gain his attention and not for my own pleasure.

“Sorry to disappoint, Audrey, but I don’t think I’m that interesting. Like any other normal man, I enjoy traveling and practicing ancient Tibetan traditions. Just an average American Joe. More accurately, an American Dale.

“I’ve never met anyone who even knew what Tibet was!” I rolled my eyes. “Trust me, around Twin Peaks, you are a rare specimen. Well-traveled, well-versed, and a gentlemen.”  
I gently tugged on the collar of his suit jacket for emphasis on the gentleman bit.

“Well, thank you Audrey. However, your town offers a variety of exceptional traits as well. Traits I also find rare and intriguing.”

“What do you find intriguing about me, as a woman of Twin Peaks?” I sat back in my seat with my chin tipped up and my hand resting above my breast. My tone was calm though my heartbeat was anything, but relaxed. It pounded over the sound of the engine droning and sporadic solos of radio jazz.

“You’re a young woman of ambition and maturity, with eclectic tastes for eighteen.” I bit my lip as he continued on. “Twins Peaks served as a catalyst to motivate your achievement, intelligence, and powers of persuasion. You are as intriguing as you are mysterious for your age.”

My lip felt sore from the little nibbles. I let his compliment ruminate so I could soak in all that it could mean underneath his cool exterior. I wondered if he viewed me as an equal with those qualities, or was I still just that untouchable naked girl under his sheets. His sultry voice stopped my pondering.

“You asked what’s interesting about me, but I can tell you something that I like. I enjoy a home cooked meal. It’s rare I have time to make any of my meals, so I appreciate the personal touches a small town like Twin Peaks has to offer in its diners and restaurants. I always wanted to know how to make apple pie, the American pinnacle of dessert. Fresh apples, massaged dough, and a mountain of cinnamon. One day, I’ll uncover the secrets of baking.”

“Now, you’re making me hungry. I haven’t eaten a bite all day.” I groaned. “I’m craving something sweet.”

“Do you want pie? I know a pretty fantastic, local diner that we’ll be passing soon. Their pie and coffee is locally renowned.” I could hear the smile behind his tone. He turned to wink at me quickly, acknowledging his own joke.

“Double R would be delightful.” I agreed.

\--------------------

The rest of the car ride echoed the sexual tension of the jazzy piano. Agent Cooper’s fingers fidgeted over the worn steering wheel while the scent of his jacket warmed my cheeks to a slight pink. Our arrival to the diner was bittersweet by answering the call of my stomach, but ignoring my heart’s pleas.

“Off we go, Audrey.” Agent Cooper opened my door.

We hurried along inside the diner and I sauntered alongside my personal special agent in his coat. I didn’t want to stop showing off his gesture of affection, but returned his jacket lazily between two fingertips for his comfort. A booth in the back called out to us and Norma approached with a smile and a simple notepad.

“Norma, nice to see you again. We’d like an order of two coffees, a slice of your famous cherry pie, and…” Agent Cooper looked across the table at me.

“Hmm, I think a nice waffle with lots of whipped cream would hit the spot.” I smiled coyly.

“I’ll be right back with those coffees guys. Your food will come out hot together next, hon.” Norma sashayed away putting her notebook in the pocket of her apron.  
I peered around the room to people watch and guess the reasons for coming today. Ed sat up at the front counter sipping from his mug and reading the paper with wandering eyes. What a conspicuous move on his part. I looked back to Agent Cooper to notice he, too, was scanning the room. I gulped when I remembered he was scanning for my safety and not for fun. I wanted a distraction from this scary thought.

“Funny, how obvious the well-meaning, dishonest people can be in this small town.” 

“Miss Audrey, that’s bold of you to say. How do you mean?”

“Agent Cooper, you’re an experienced investigator. Can’t you see in this room alone how many secrets exist among us?! Look at Ed. He thinks he’s being covert about his feelings for Norma. How silly!” I rolled my eyes in a big gesture and bit my sore lip.

“Interesting… what’s your deduction process here detective Horne?” Agent Cooper lifted a brow and opened his palms up. Our knees were barely touching under the table, but my thoughts kept drifting to this connection.

“Well, his spot at the counter allows Ed to follow Norma’s movement around the diner fairly easy. He’s brought a newspaper, but he hasn’t turned a page yet since we’ve arrived. His wandering eyes gave him away mostly.” Nodding my head, I saw Norma circling around the counter and heading toward our booth. Ed’s body shifted on the stool, magnetized by Norma’s position. “All of his body language leads him to Norma. She never stops smiling when she sees him. It’s all there agent, truly a simple case for a rudimentary detective like me to solve.”

I quieted down my rousing speech as Norma approached and set down our coffees, resting my chin on my propped up fist. I curled my hair around my ear, self-assured. Agent Cooper couldn’t restrain a quick smile revealing his own conclusion about them as he passed me some sugar and thanked Norma. She hurried away to another booth of customers for their order which was out of earshot.

“Fascinating technique. Maybe, you have a future as a potential special agent with this set of observational skills and gut instinct. My natural instincts is what led me to the Bureau.” His statement felt light, but genuine in its delivery. He gave me a thumbs up.

“You flatter me. But I only do what I’ve learned from watching you investigate in Twin Peaks. You’re a great source of inspiration for me.” I blushed and shuffled my foot into his with our legs practically intertwined now.

“You’re an intelligent, young woman Audrey. That’s not flattery, just the damn fine truth. You have many talents to offer…to anyone. I’ve learned a lot more about you today, more than I intended or expected.” His foot tapped back to mine and I sensed more behind it. I didn’t imagine playing footsies with Agent Cooper when the sun rose this morning. But now I could imagine pushing things further tonight as the sun set.

Out of my periphery, I noticed a rough-looking man with an apron perched at the opposite end of the counter drying out one mug with a towel. His eyes were fixed on Big Ed and his drying movements got more exaggerated with each repetition. I would not want to be Ed right now with Mr. Intimidation watching me. I shuddered at the realization that the other day someone really WAS watching me. Norma balanced our plates over to the booth and I refocused on the audible grumblings of my stomach.

When our food arrived, I couldn’t wait to dig right in. A confidence reset in me that's been hibernating since the hostage situation at One Eyed Jack's. Thinking about Agent Cooper and his compliments about me just sparked my excitement again. As Agent Cooper took bites of his sweet cherry pie, I swooped my finger into the pile of whipped cream and licked the sweetness off of the tip of my finger. My eyes locked with his serious, sweet brown eyes; I didn’t need provocative word for this. Agent Cooper kept on scooping up his pie, but I definitely was making it hard for him to reach his mouth. I just wanted to give him a taste of what he was missing out on since his gentle rejection not too long ago. 

"Mmmmm, so good. Thank you, Dale." I boldly remarked.

Tonight was an opportunity for us to rekindle that tension and connection we had with some alone time. No stalker or dangerous criminal could stop me from trying things on with my agent, a gentleman and intellectual without competition in Twin Peaks. He made me feel respected and understood my capabilities without question. I longed to be with him in more ways than one and tonight, I’d find out if he really could be with me the way I wanted him to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if the pace has been too slow or too random. This chapter took me a little longer, because I wasn't sure how to connect the last chapter to where I want to end. I'm trying to build up to all the sexy bits in a playful, tasteful way, but it'll probably all come out smutty anyway. thanks for the kudos and comments so far, xoxo


	4. Isn't It Too Dreamy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night in with Cooper doesn't turn out as planned. Will Cooper abandon Audrey in her time of need?

Agent Cooper paced back and forth down the short hallway to the bedroom door. I stood my ground at the police station, and now, my knight in shining armor was in my boudoir. I never thought my fantasy would become reality. Yet, here we were exchanging glances and words in my own room. Cooper was still striding down the small length over and over.

“Agent…special agent Cooper, must you pace like that you’re making me nervous.” I beckoned with my right hand to come closer.

“I’m sorry, Miss Audrey. I have to be active to stay alert and ready. I’ll try to move slowly so I don't bother you.” He paused at the door. His dark suit hid his body well against the dimly lit area of my room. I smiled at the sight of his perfectly styled, jet-black hair and the seriously handsome expression on his face. There’s no one I’d rather have protecting me at my most vulnerable.

“Audrey, just Audrey.” My words dripped out sweet and deliberate like honey. “I like just my name, you know, less formal. I feel like we know each other well enough now.”

“Well, okay Audrey. Whatever makes you comfortable.” He hesitated, but turned around to walk out the door.

“Wait! Wait, please, come talk to me. I need to be distracted.” My voice hinted at desperation, but I wanted it to sound sultry.

“I need to be on guard Mi…Audrey. Distracting you would distract me from keeping you safe.”

“Okay, okay,” I thought for a moment. Slowly, I glided from my mattress and fuzzy blanket toward my vanity. I fingered my messy curls in the mirror as I devised what to say next.  
“Agent Cooper, do you think this style is pretty?”

He sighed a deep long sigh that I thought for a moment would never end. He looked over my shoulder to the window. “I don’t see why that’s important right now.”

“Oh, maybe you just don’t find me attractive, let alone my hair pretty.” My eyes flicked to his in the mirror’s reflection. I didn't pout, strong women don't pout.

“I’m an FBI agent, you’re young, and this is inappropriate for our relationship, Audrey.” He shifted his weight between his intense pauses. Yet, his voice sounded forced and rehearsed. Dale Cooper was trying to convince himself, not me.

“I work at my father’s hotel.” I challenged him. “I’ll give you that I’m young, but I’m a young woman. You’ve said it yourself that I’m mature and intelligent and clever. You can answer the question, Cooper. You can’t hurt my feelings. You're not breaking any laws. Unless, you really are just avoiding the truth. I’m just not pretty to you.” I tousled up my hair and patched up my rouge lipstick with my pinky finger. I shot him a dark, serious glance to prove my determination.

“You’re undeniably beautiful, Audrey. In the most professional way to answer that.” He blushed a little but retreated back to the shadow of the doorway. “I have to go… check with the officer covering the perimeter. I’ll be back soon.”

His light steps could barely be heard through the wall as he tread down the hall. I took careful steps with my silk robe toward the door. The rug squished under my barefeet and spurted little notes of plum in between my toes. My eyelids gradually lifted to search for his figure in the shadows of the outside hallway, but Agent Cooper was already long gone.

My eyes wouldn’t adjust to the darkness the way I needed them to. My bedroom screamed elegance and romance and mood lighting. The hallway echoed darkness, terror, and a soft-glowing abyss. I sulked back to the cushioned chair in the center of the room and propped my smooth, exposed legs over its arms. If I had to wait for him, then I might as well pose to make him wish he never left. I draped my robe nicely to leave a little for a wandering eye to explore.

A few minutes passed and I decided to paint my nails a deep burgundy to match my lips. A couple of flicks with the brush on each nail, I had sensual claws to blow on with pursed lips. Silence was my only company in the room besides my ravenous thoughts. I could hear the corner clock mocking me with the thousands of its ticks and tocks continuing on. I carelessly pressed on a nail, but no imprint was left on the coat of paint. Agent Cooper had officially been gone too long.

“Cooper, where did you go?” I talked aloud to myself. No response from the universe was immediately evident. I tapped my nails on one of the books next to my chair. The seconds passed into minutes, so I grabbed up the closest book, Slaughterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut. I found the dog-eared page and buried my thoughts inside the book’s yellow cover. The time traveling and strange storytelling caught my attention. Twins Peaks could never be as interesting as a Vonnegut book. Still, I wondered if Agent Cooper made me this impatient or if his presence really was missing for too long. As if hearing my question, the sound of steady footsteps gave me hope that this ache would end.

“Have you been you hiding from me?” I teased with a little giggle captive behind my book.

“No, I’m not hiding, I’ve just been waiting.” A familiar, deep voice grew to a gradual crescendo. The doorknob jostled with the sound of jingling keys. I swung my legs down with my new book propped in my lap. Billy Pilgrim was just describing his Tralfamadorians in long, boring detail. My time was not unstuck like Pilgrim’s, but I wasn’t so sure who I was stuck in time with now.

“Cooper?” I squinted at the door creaking open. There was a cracking noise followed by a forceful slam. The figure stayed in the shadows.

“Don’t you wish he could save you now, Audrey Horne?” The menacing voice stepped into the light and I gasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, looks like Audrey may have to face her stalker alone! Will she survive it? Will Cooper come to her rescue? Will you finally get the smut you've been looking for. The next update will give you all the answers you're looking for ;)


	5. Cooper's View: Damn Fine Break-in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here, we see into the mind of Special Agent Cooper as he comes back from his patrol and rendezvous with an absentee officer. He senses something is wrong and springs into action. How will he find Audrey? Held captive by her stalker? Missing from a disheveled room? Read on to find out.

Audrey would be wondering where I am right about now. Audrey Horne, a young woman I needed to protect from harm…whether from this shady character or quite possibly from myself. Being an FBI agent has endangered more than one person I’ve cared about. I don’t quite know if Audrey understands the risk of her clear…affection for me. Yet, I can't keep my thoughts from drifting over to her. What she's thinking about me, how she's feeling, analyzing her little gestures and lip bites. I don't know how long I can resist her temptation.

I was rounding the corner of the hallway, humming the jazz tune stuck in my head from our earlier car ride. The perimeter officer either abandoned his post or worse. All my searching for him was in vain and I mentally prepared the strongly-worded letter I’d be writing to the Sheriff for the officer’s poor occupational performance. I approached Audrey’s bedroom, knowing we’d most likely have to talk about the chemical connection between us. This connection, I’ve avoided confronting with myself. Her voice as catchy as our favorite jazz tune. Both were stuck in my mind. I couldn’t shake the hypnotic image of her short curls bouncing from side to side to the music. Her dark lips. My daydreaming was cut short by a loud thump coming from inside her room.

“Audrey! Are you okay?” I automatically unholstered my weapon and moved to the side of the doorway. There was no audible response.

I noticed pieces of a rusty key broken into the lock and fragments poking out from under the door. The bits of the key resembled a twisted skull, which I inferred was connected to the term “skeleton key.” I tried the door knob, but the door wouldn’t give. I took a few steps back and kicked in the damn barrier between me and my Audrey. I rushed over the splintered remains of her door and scanned the dim entry way.

“Audrey?” I yelled into the short hall to her bedroom. My back was against the wall as I inched closer. 

“I’m here, Agent.” Her breathy voice was difficult to read. Was she nervous or frightened? A very soft pop sound followed shortly after.

“Are you alright?” I slowly approached the opening to her softly lit bedroom, prepared for whatever may be waiting with her.

“I am now that you’re here.”

I kept my gun drawn and looked around the vast room for Audrey or her possible stalker. Her bed was still full of decorative pillows. Her vanity mirror reflected without a sign of struggle. Following my line of site, I found Audrey Horne sitting in her upholstered chair, brandishing a small pistol and blowing bubblegum. I followed her aim to the floor where a ruby silk belt bound an unconscious man in a trench coat. I stepped closer to them, keeping my eyes on the suspect and my finger on the trigger.

“Audrey, who is this? Did he attack you? What happened?”

“It’s the man I saw earlier at the hotel. He knocked at the door and I thought it was you returning to me. But he ambushed me. He wanted to hurt me, but he underestimated me. Most people do,” she scoffed. While she was talking, I handcuffed the attacker before I checked him out. I noticed a large welt on the back of his head. Maybe, Audrey didn’t need as much protecting as I thought. She continued on, “But I’m glad he did. I promised myself no one would ever take advantage of me again and I mean to keep that promise. Luckily, Daddy always let me shoot with him at the range when I was young. He gave me a pistol for my bedroom after I was kidnapped when I said I was having trouble sleeping at night. I didn’t shoot him though, Agent Cooper. I swear. ”

“How did he get to be unconscious?”

“I caught him off guard while he went on his villainous monologue. I can be very distracting when I want to be.” She fiddled with her robe, making sure it was closed without her belt. “I guess I’ll have to ask Daddy for a new lamp though.” She gestured to the ceramic pieces by her feet on the shag rug.

“I’m impressed, Audrey. I’m going to call for back up from the Sheriff, does your room phone still work?”

She nodded hesitantly and looked towards her corded phone then back to me, seemingly unsure of whether or not to move from her position by her unconscious attacker.

“Audrey, why don’t you call Sheriff Truman and tell him to send officers. We may have an officer down and definitely a suspect in custody. I’ll stay by this guy.” I gently tapped his shoe for emphasis.

“Okay, Agent Cooper. I can do that.” She clicked the safety of her weapon on and ambled towards her bedside table. She put the gun into a locked drawer and began dialing into her shiny red phone. Her fingers twiddled with the cord and she blew another bubble. I wondered what really happened in this room. How did Audrey trick and stun this man? What else don't I know about this mysterious Audrey Horne? But damn, was I impressed by her skill and confidence. I liked what I saw underneath the shell of her every day demeanor. She was larger than the small town she grew up in, but aware enough not to show it off. Maybe I was wrong to question her ability to care for herself. 

As Audrey relayed everything to Lucy, I repositioned this suspect to be very uncomfortable as he awaited painful consciousness and his very public escort to jail.  
This night was far from over for all of us, but at least Audrey was safe. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My plan is to move on to more sultry scenes after this "rescue". But let me know if you want Audrey's perspective of the break-in and the details of how she duped and subdued her attacker with her charm :)  
Until next time !


	6. Burgundy Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let's get to the beginning of the smut you've all been waiting for. I didn't plan for this to happen this way originally, but I liked the way this felt the most natural. Enjoy ~

I studied the back of my eyelids for a moment so the blackness could envelop me like a warm blanket. Tonight was a lot of action for me…but not the kind I imagined. Dale Cooper was escorting that horrid villain out to the patrol car and I had to clean up the mess I made of my room. Eyes reopened, I carefully picked up the pieces of the lamp out of the muddled shag rug. My little radio charged the room with the stimulating sounds of jazz to keep me company. I could feel the little electrons of rhythm pulse through my skin and I swayed to the music’s current. My movements were more instinctual and I unplugged my brain from the day.

A quick painful prick woke my senses to my surroundings. In my tranquil state, my fingertip was nicked by the sharp edge of a ceramic shard. A little bit of burgundy started to seep out, matching the color of my freshly polished nails. I felt so stupid to have gotten the equivalent of a papercut from cleaning my room on the same night I bested my stalker. 

I hurried to search for a tissue or something to wipe the blood off and apply pressure to stop the bleeding. I was perusing through my vanity drawer when I heard knocking followed by Agent Cooper’s voice calmly calling for me. I found a cream-colored handkerchief and daintily held it to my forefinger. I turned down volume of the radio, so I wouldn’t yell over the jazz sounds.

“Come right in, Special Agent. It should be unlocked.”

The door gently opened and closed. I could hear him muttering something to Diane under his breath before an ending click to his tape recorder. Agent Cooper entered my bedroom with a thoughtful expression. I shrugged my shoulders under the silk robe to adjust my posture.

“Audrey, you should call the front desk to fix your door knob and its locking mechanism. It isn’t safe for you to be unable to lock your door when you’re alone. Even with that criminal out of the hotel.”

“I called already. There’s no need to worry Cooper, I knew only you would be coming back here tonight to be with me.”

I saw a slight blush of his cheeks and he fidgeted with the cuff of his sleeve. I put down the handkerchief on the vanity and adjusted the knob for the jazz to be slightly louder. Agent Cooper looked up and smiled slightly, acknowledging our conversation from earlier. I fluttered my eyelashes innocently.

“You really enjoy this jazz music, Audrey,” he paused for a few seconds, still meddling with his cuff. “You know, you’re right that I don’t have to worry about you. You handled taking care of yourself tonight beyond my expectations. I’ve seen stranger things in Twin Peaks, but you continue to surprise me each day I’m here. For some reason, I can’t help, but still feel a certain concern over your well-being even knowing you can protect yourself.”

With all his fidgeting, one of his gold cufflinks popped off from his sleeve and bounced with a loud clink on the hardwood floor into the shag rug. With rushed steps, I floated to where he stood by the doorway. His eyes scanned the floor, but never locked onto where the cufflink rested. He crouched down for a closer look.

“Let me help, Special Agent. I’m no stranger to shiny things.” I flirted and stepped a foot closer.

He looked at me, really looked at me, for the first time since reentering my bedroom. I watched his gaze trail up my exposed legs to my petite waist and then to my bitten, burgundy lips. He lingered there a second longer. I smiled slightly revealing my bright teeth and a single eyebrow raised.

“Why, yes, any help would be appreciated.” His eyes darted back to the fuzzy carpeting. His hands grazed the floor searching for a bump or blip to indicate something he missed was there. I guess there was no Tibetan ritual for retrieving lost cufflinks. The cufflink glimmered to me from below. 

“I see something, I think. Allow me.” I replied shyly. I tried to step even closer to him and I paused a moment.

He was careful to avert his eyes now from me. I rustled my robe to adjust its covering, so he could think I’m remaining modest. Though, I slid a finger down the crest of what’s covering my cleavage to widen the gap. I curtsied slowly to grasp the cufflink with puffs of color in between my fingers. Once safely in my grasp, I manipulated the cufflink to sort out its odd misshapen form. I liked the feel of it in my fingers. 

“Thank you, Audrey.” He rose up from his crouched position and tried to peer through my fingers.

I reached out to grab the sleeve of his suit with a pleading look. My thumb traced the seam of the sleeve down to his gentle hand. The cufflink had a strange symbol I didn’t recognize on it. A question for another time, I thought to myself.

“Here.” I stared into his kind brown eyes, daring him to notice me as a woman. Jazz was always electric, but our hands created a spark that could make the hair on my arms stand up. His palm opened to me gradually, and I let my hand rest on his for a while. Thoughts were brewing behind those dark mysterious eyes. He looked down to fix his cuffs, when his eyes widened.

“Audrey, you must be bleeding! Where’s it coming from?” His voice was riddled with concern. I noticed the smear of blood on his palm from my insignificantly-wounded finger. I had forgotten all about the drama of the ceramic shard.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just a cut from cleaning up the lamp. I had a handkerchief for it, but I thought it stopped bleeding before.” 

I wanted to return back to our staring contest, because I was determined to win. But he was already examining my hand and my finger to make sure I wasn’t lying about the severity. Seemingly satisfied with my answer from the evidence, he walked me back to the vanity and picked up the linen.

“I’ll apply the pressure for you, so you can relax. You’ve done enough for today. Beating the bad guy. Finding my cufflinks. Let me treat this minor wound.”

We looked back to my bed close by and sat down next to each other. I offered my hand and he pressed the handkerchief down with a calculated amount of pressure. He searched my face for any reaction that alerted to pain. His other hand held mine in place while his fingers provided occasional, soothing strokes.

“Thank you, Agent Cooper. It’s really okay. Just a silly scratch. I’m fine.” I tried to reassure him.

“Dale. You can say Dale,” his eyes didn’t leave their focus from my hand. “It’s the least I can do for you, Audrey. I wasn’t there for you when you needed it most as an FBI agent. I can’t change the past, but I can help you in this small way.”

My ears perked up at the word “Dale.” I almost giggled until I saw his solemn face. I realized he was still very hurt by the danger of my stalker and his absence. I wanted to grab his face and kiss him, but my uninjured hand grabbed his sleeve instead.

“Hey, stop that. You were doing your job by checking on that other officer. They were able to find him unconscious hidden among the shrubbery. He's safe now because of you. It’s not your fault this terrible person hurt him and snuck into the hotel. If you were with me, you would have protected me. I know that…Dale.”

My free hand tipped his chin up. I wanted him to look at me when I said his name. The word felt airy and light as it reached my tongue and I let it hang in the air between us. I breathed in his evergreen aftershave and a fuzziness cloaked my entire body. His dark eyes studied my face with an intensity I’d never seen. I wanted to squirm under his gaze, but stayed still. There was a slight indescribable change in the light of his eyes. A decision was made.

The pressure on my finger was suddenly released. A gentle hand was carefully placed on my cheek to behind my ear. My eyes shuddered closed and I embraced the warmness of his hand seeping into other parts of my body. His forehead pressed against mine in silence. I waited patiently. His soft-spoken voice rewarded my patience. In a mere whisper, he earnestly spoke to me.

“Audrey, I want to kiss you, but not if you don—“ 

I grabbed a fistful of hair from the back of his head and interrupted his lips mid-sentence. Our lips felt effortlessly light as they brushed against each other. Once he realized my answer, his kiss grew more passionate. Weeks of dancing around the chemistry between us melted away. No more denying the electricity between us. Jazz swelled in the room and his other hand grabbed my waist to pull me closer. I kissed him deeper than before and our tongues clashed with a velvety sensation. His aftershave was even stronger now and I wanted so badly for him to never stop kissing me. The oxygen was used up between us. We paused for a deep, meditative breath. Our foreheads, once again, touching as we caressed the other's cheek. 

"Dale, don't stop there."


End file.
